The Love Letter Series. A bridge between what was, what is, and what will always be.
Love comes in so many forms. Through partnership, through self-acceptance, through the people who lift us up, and through the ones we raise. It isn’t just about the present; sometimes, it stretches across time, holding us together even when lift looks different than we imagined.
This series is my way of honoring those connections. These letters are not just reflections. They are conversations, moments frozen in time, reminders of the love that shaped me.
And today, I’m starting with the one who changed my life forever.
To my love Fuad,
What would I say to you if I could have just one more conversation? If I had one more moment to hear your voice, see your smile, or feel your arms around me? The very first thing I would say is I love you. That I miss you so much.
There isn’t just one particular memory that stands out more than the others because you are everywhere. One moment can trigger it. Just today, I was working out, and I felt you. It was as if you were behind me, sitting on the StairMaster, just watching me, keeping me company like you used to. You were always in our garage gym, just chilling while I worked out.
From the very beginning of our relationship, we both knew what we wanted. It all fell into place so quickly, and I wouldn’t change a thing. We barely knew each other, but I wouldn’t trade our time together for anything.The first day I met you in person, I fell head over heels for you. I remember telling my cousin, he’s going to be my husband. It was a feeling like never before. It just felt right.
From the very beginning, you saw me for who I was, flaws and all, and you still chose me. Even when things weren’t perfect, even when we had to navigate the tough moments, we never gave up on each other. We held on, not because it was easy, but because we knew what we had was real. We accepted each other … the good, the bad, and the complicated. And that meant everything.
We fought for our marriage, Fuad. We put in the work. When had the honeymoon stage, then became parents, then settled into the reality of life together. I used to think love was a fairytale, but you told me the truth. Life is not a fairytale. And I learned that with you. But through every high and low, you never let go of my hand.
If I could hold your hand right now, I wouldn’t even need to speak. You already knew. You always knew.
I try not to think about the sickness. I don’t want to focus on it, because that’s not all that you were. But I also can’t separate it from you, because it was a part of your journey, our journey. And it was the end.
I feel robbed. I was robbed of our time together, and I know you felt it too. I know you were tired, but you held on for me. That Wednesday, when you told me you were tired, I asked you to hold on just a little longer for me so we could see what the doctors said. And you did. You held on for me, and I will always be grateful for that.
You were my number one person, Fuad. I hope you knew that. I think you did, I told you, over and over, how much I loved you, how much I appreciated you. If there’s one thing I can say with certainty, it’s that I never took you for granted. Not once.
Maybe I should have listened more. Maybe I should have really heard you when you said you were in pain, instead of just wanting to find ways to fix it. But I held on to hope. I held on to faith. I held on until the very last moment. And I know you did too. Thank you for that Fuad.
You are still here.
I see you in our kids. You’re on my lock screen because even if it brings pain, I need to see you. You are in the car I drive, in our closet, in our bedroom, in every single small routine that once felt so ordinary. When I take the trash out, when I keep the house clean, when I go to the gym, when I pray. You are everywhere.
And if you could respond to me right now, I know exactly what you’d say.
I see you. I see what you’re doing. I see what you’re going through. I’m proud of you.
I hope you are. I hope you see me.
I love you, Moyosore Fuad Hassan. Always & Forever.
With love,
Your Baby Boo.
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