Pos·par·tum De·pres·sion.
noun
- depression suffered by a mother following childbirth, typically arising from the combination of hormonal changes, psychological adjustment to motherhood, and fatigue
September 13, 2018, was the day Ashraf was born and I fell in love immediately. I remember once I gave birth to him and they cleaned him off, we had some skin to skin time. They don’t tell you about removing the placenta and getting rid of your blood clots. Man, did I hate that part…I remember screaming in pain and bubs started to cry. My husband says that just what babies do, but I feel it was at that point we bonded…instantly. Once I realized what was happening, I swear I didn’t even feel the pain anymore, C R A Z Y!
Fast forward two days and we are home, sweet home. I wasn’t nervous about going home with my first baby, because I had my husband, mom, and sister there to help me. My best friend came to visit the next day and I was able to get a little piece of normal. The next week was filled with guest in and out, which made me feel warm inside (If you know me, I’m big on family). Bubs continued to steal my heart and I’m in a state of complete bliss, even though I felt like a zombie with the constant feeding.
A couple of days go by and my milk comes in, hello engorgement …which no one talks about either! I was in so much pain, I remember pulling out my phone to google ways to alleviate the pain. First thing I found was to take a hot shower, I remember being in the shower for almost 15 minutes realizing this is something I was just going to have to deal with for the time being. I decided to try other things like pumping, ice packs, and hot towels … still engorged! I remember locking myself in the restroom, turning the shower on, and just crying. And I remember asking myself, why the heck are you crying woman … pull it together. I think this was the start of my baby blues.
Such a rollercoaster!