It’s the First Sunday.
Well, the First Sunday of my new series, Coffee with Sims.
Each Sunday, I’ll be discussing and sharing things that I deal with in life.
Whether its motherhood, marriage, my personal struggles, and just life period. And if you ever want me to discuss or talk about something just reach out to me personally or feel free to leave a comment below.
So, grab your cup of coffee or drink of choice and let’s dive into it. Today’s topic hence the title, social anxiety.
Social Anxiety according to the dictionary is:
a form of anxiety that is brought about by social situations (such as meeting strangers, dating, or public speaking) in which embarrassment or a negative judgment by others may occur Shyness, the most common form of social anxiety.
I genuinely love meeting new people and yearn to make new friendships, but anytime I get into a social situation whether it be professional or casual with others that I don’t know my anxiety sets in. There are so many thoughts running through my head at 1,000 mph. What do I say to start a conversation? I remind myself to talk slowly so that my words don’t jabber and muddle together. My heart beats a little faster, I get nervous and either push myself to a corner or bury my face into my phone.
Is this normal? Am I the only one this happens to? Because, I don’t know if my friends can tell, but it even happens when I’m interacting with them sometimes. I’ll be telling a story and I’ll go off on a tangent or the stammering happens.
I wasn’t always like this. You know, I really think it happened because there were a couple of times in my life that friends, I considered as sisters just dropped me, as if I was nothing. Literally told me we can’t be friends anymore or they just couldn’t talk to me. That’s when I needed it the most, funny thing is one of them I still talk to here and there. I remember one time in college, I wanted to be roommates with a group of girls, but I wasn’t up to their standards, lol. L They literally told me they would have to think about it. Came back and told me no. And guys, my behavior wasn’t the best in college. It went from great to not knowing who I was. Though those experiences definitely left me with some trauma.
Anyways, that’s another story for another day. Let’s get back on track.
I really think that the relationships and interactions I had in college has an impact on what would turn out to be my social anxiety. The space I was in after college probably played into effect as well. And deep down, I know that is not the person I want to be. It is just wild to me that when I’m with my friends everything is peachy, but someone new, the anxiety creeps in and fast.
I feel like having this type of social anxiety is kind of holding me back.
I don’t like to be held back. I want to accomplish things in life and I want to create more meaningful relationships. I haven’t gone after instructor positions because of this. I figure out an excuse to not attend or show up at events where I don’t know someone who is going to be there. I have missed opportunities to get to know people that I believe has great potential to turn into great friendships. I’m tired of it and it’s been my goal to get out of it for some time now.
I started this blog to help me put myself out there. I think after 2 years, yikes … I’m finally getting there. I applied to Dallas Fitness Ambassadors and couldn’t be more grateful. I’ve started some friendships, but COVID wont’ let us be great. I made sure to get a job at a fitness studio in Dallas to help me with my anxiety when it comes to social life. And let me tell you, it’s has helped me. The people there are amazing and they just give off good vibes. I’m applying to job that out me front in center,cross your fingers people. The people I have chosen to surround myself with probably don’t know they have had any type of impact on me, but shout out to them.
I’ve been wanting to get that off my chest for the longest, wooooo. Thanks for reading.
Do you have any sort of social anxiety? Or am I just crazy, lol? And if you are someone who doesn’t have this issue or you got over your social anxiety, what advice can you give me and others like me?
Hey. I’m literally crying reading this,I havent been able to express my social anxiety to people but you have taken the words right out of my mouth. As i was reading through, i saw myself. I had some bad experience which has led to my trauma as well. Social anxiety has really affected me relationship with people,I really want to get out of this mess. Please if there is anyone that got over their own situation, I would be grateful if you share. You asked if you are crazy, you are not sometimes I use to think I’m crazy. Thank you so much for having the courage to talk about this. God bless you.