Coffee with Sims|Try and have some fun

Celebrations and holidays used to be effortless, with my husband always present. Now, as we gather and celebrate, his absence is constant. I may not vocalize it, but he’s always on my mind, my heart picturing him, longing to hold onto him.

Christmas morning was quiet, but special. We spent the morning opening gifts, mainly the kids. My sister-in-law surprised me with a Harry Potter mug set. It brought me to tears. It’s funny how the smallest gestures can hold so much meaning.

Late that afternoon, my sister-in-law in Nigeria called to check in. She asked about the kids, and we FaceTimed so she could see them and say hello to the family. Before she called, I’d been lying in bed, scrolling through TikTok, passing the time. People often ask if I’ve been sleeping when they call, but really, I’m just existing in the hours … trying to get through them.

“Try and have some fun,” she told me as we wrapped up the call. I could hear the concern in her voice.

Her words lingered. I told her okay, but in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but think, “What is fun now?”

Between working full-time, raising two kids, and managing everything life has thrown my way. I hadn’t thought much about it until recently. I workout a few times a week, it keeps me going. But the other day, something shifted during a HIIT workout.

A sick beat dropped, Runaway (U&I) by Galantis, the Quintino remix, and suddenly, that endorphins kicked in, bringing that rush of energy. I found myself laughing and crying, thanking God for that moment as I realized what was happening. That rush of energy, the feeling of being alive again, it was refreshing.

Fuad and I always had an understanding about life, we’re not in control. When God says it’s your time, there’s no escaping it. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t struggle to initially accept it. There were moments when we’d look at each other and just say, “We can’t believe this is our reality. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.”

I had the best person in my life, and now he’s just gone. Throughout his illness, he didn’t want me to feel stuck. I wanted to stay home with him all the time, and for the most part, I did. But he always encouraged me to go out with my friends, create content, and finish the certifications I’d started. He wouldn’t want me to simply exist.

Now, as a new year approaches, I feel the need to rediscover myself. As we all do, right? I can’t be the only one. I don’t know what that will look like yet, but learning to take it one day at a time. Leaning on my deen, trusting in God’s guidance, and letting moments of joy remind me that life, despite everything, is still worth living.

What do I hope you’ll take away from this coffee chat today?

Healing doesn’t happen all at once. It’s a process, a journey of rediscovery and faith. If you’re navigating your own challenges, know this: it’s okay to take it one moment at a time. Lean into the things that bring you joy, no matter how small, and trust that brighter days will come.

Ciao,